I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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