Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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