Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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