i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
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