I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize