I like my sex mixed with concussions.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
