bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize