Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
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