Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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