he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
