I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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