Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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