you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
