I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Small penises have feelings too.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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