he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
