Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
