She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize