I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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