Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
