Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize