p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
