So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Randomize
