oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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