some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
