Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
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