I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Princesses don't give blow jobs
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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