I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
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You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
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the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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