the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
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