I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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