when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize