can we get nightvision for the apartment?
i barfeds in our rink
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
