he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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