my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
