hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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