I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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