All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
