i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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