Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
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