its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
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