So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
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