You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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