I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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