Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
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