So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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