she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
