remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
