Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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