At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
