..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
All I want is dick and wine.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.