oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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