I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
