Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
