so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
