I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Randomize
