Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
