then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
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