last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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